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Extensive studies show that women across all countries have significantly lower Self-Esteem than men. This is often reflected in a lower degree of Confidence: in spite of proven leadership effectiveness, many women still doubt their capabilities, which may affect their happiness and success.
Fortunately, it is possible to increase both Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence. Find out about the ”Irresistible Me” program.
Let me start by sharing my story.
Do you keep a cool head when your ideas are criticized, but become condescending when the discussion takes emotional tones? Are you skilled at diffusing tensions between people, but at the risk of taking too much responsibility on your shoulders? When does your natural style help you and when not? How can you further strengthen your influence?
Gerda has just been promoted Head of Global Customer Service, replacing Miguel, who is leaving the Company. Gerdas new team includes Service Manager Katrina. It is Performance Ratings time, and Miguel has rated Katrina below expectations, but has left before communicating his decision to Katrina. Gerda needs to take over the discussion and although she does not share Miguels conclusion, she chooses to endorse it, only to be shocked and hurt by Katrinas excessively negative reaction.
As a young real estate lawyer, I almost tanked my first important deal, until my senior colleague said something that resolved the issue and taught me the best negotiating lesson of my life. This was the experience recently shared with me by a McDonald manager who agreed to let me use his story. I will call him Martin.
What was the trick that turned a potential clash into a positive outcome?
I definitely agree with you! Dont we all like to hear these words? They are words that speak of acceptance, validation and kinship. They make us feel good. They increase our serotonin level, exactly like chocolate. And like chocolate, too much is not good for us. We need other food. The same happens in business: Too much agreement is not good for us, neither for the business.
But what exactly are the risks of too much agreement? And what can we do about it?
Harvard Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy has been called the highest priestess of self-confidence for the self-doubters.
She gives two important tips to help prepare for one of the toughest challenges that any self-doubter can face, a job interview: use power positions to boost your self-confidence and remember to show your warmth, not only your competence.
Sometimes we tell we are very busy with a sense of pride; if we are busy, it means we are probably important, wanted and successful.
Some other times we truly suffer, we are tired, exhausted, and overworked. We truly wish we could learn to say no.
This is often a trap, a form of self-deception; and we may not need to learn to say: "no", we may actually need to learn to say: "yes, and...?"
The real reason why we hate disagreements is because we have the illusion of rationality. If you disagree, you are wrong and I can prove it! OK, I am just kidding, let me try again.
Sometimes I feel hurt by other people disagreeing with my views and opinions because it sounds like they are against me. Does it make sense to you? Do you feel the same?
Not every manager is competent in providing objective and factual feedback; some may give patronizing advice or judgmental criticism instead. When confronted with the type of feedback that seems more like a personal attack, a few simple steps can help us stay cool, deflect any criticism and turn the discussion into a professionally constructive one.
Seriously: are you having any fun at work? Are you creating an enjoyable business environment? Do you encourage use of healthy humor? Can you laugh at your mistakes?
If not, you may be wasting the time and money that you invest in talents development, employees engagement programs and innovation-boosting activities.